Only human

When I was ten, I had thought I was so grown-up. Now, at twenty-seven, I know better. The world now seems a crazier place. It’s not the world that has changed; I’m the one who is different. Years from now, I’ll look back at the girl who’s sitting here typing away on her laptop – this laptop with the flickering monitor held together by two clips – and see just how naïve she is. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from growing up and being independent, it’s that it doesn’t matter how old I am, I still know practically nothing of what life is really all about. If there’s one more thing I’ve learned, it’s that the people around me are people. My parents are people. My co-workers are people. Even the politicians I see on TV are people.

People – made of flesh and blood, who feel loss and joy and the whole gamut of experiences and emotions. Even heroes or martyrs, even villains or rogues. Take Benazir Bhutto, for instance. She’s not a martyr, not the lesser of two evils, not a tool of western civilization, not a pusher of democracy, not a defender against Islam extremists. She’s a mother, a wife, a woman with a vision for her country, yes, but, on the most basic level, a person. She was a girl who lost a father, a student who worked countless hours abroad, a wife whose husband was imprisoned, whether justly or unjustly, for years, a mother who wants better for her children.

People are not symbols, are not black and white. I’m not always the “nice one,” the “gentle one.” Lately, my tolerance level has been low, and I’ve lashed out at people who don’t deserve it. I’ve judged certain people harshly, and now I’m feeling guilty. Guilty enough to write a post on my blog about it. Guilty enough to think that maybe if I admit to my guilt in some public form, it would make me feel better. But, what I’ve come to realize as I’m typing this, is that just as I should allow others their outbursts and minor indiscretions and not judge them harshly, so should I allow myself occasions of poor judgment and guilt. Hey, we’re only human....