Thursday, July 17, 2008

I belong with my kites

On Tuesday, I finished up the last of my cleaning, and moved out of the house where I had lived for three and a half years. I was full of glorious sadness, the kind of sadness that made me immediately nostalgic. The full extent will hit me when I depart on my flight next Wednesday, I’m sure.

I’m staying at my friend’s this week, my final one in Inuvik. It’s a lonely time, full of contemplation and self-questioning. I still have a few knick-knacks to pack and send off in the mail to Vancouver, and a couple of minor errands to run. Then, I’ll be off back to Vancouver.

There’ll be no more fiddling in the midnight sun, no more kite-flying over the moonscape field, no more wide open northern skies.

Next Monday, I’ll be meeting some co-workers and students for a barbecue. I hope that I’ll be able to tell them just how much I’ll miss them and how much they and the town have molded me into the person I am. I hope that I’ll be able to hold it together. I don’t want to remember a tearful goodbye.

My friend K had been away from Inuvik for over a month and just returned over the weekend. She had stopped in Vancouver, and had brought me back a delicate little kite, one made of a string of five diamonds, each with a vibrant goldfish imprinted on it. She’ll be leaving the North this summer as well, and we might embark on a roadtrip to California.

Maybe we’ll fly the kite on a sunny beach overlooking the wide open Pacific. Maybe this kite will somehow assuage the sense of loss that I feel. I’m excited about witnessing a pink sunset over the endless horizon, feeling the gentle waves lap against my feet.

As loss and gain, old and new play tug-of-war, maybe I’ll find where I belong. Maybe I belong wherever my kites fly, in the winds that change, in the skies that seem so different and yet are one.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, I have a kite, but haven't flown it since I was a kid! We should get together and have our very own kite-fest! What are you doing these last few days?