Sunday, September 28, 2008

Anything but school

I'm sick of thinking about school. I am repulsed by the checklists that I make each weekend, where all the items say "study," "research," or "assignment." I am hating myself for having abandoned journalling, for not having played the piano or violin for more than a few minutes total since moving back to Vancouver, for not jumping at every opportunity to go to a movie, a concert, or anywhere but school.

Lately, all my dreams have involved me taking an exam; most of the time, I would fail miserably, but in one instance, I dreamt that my professor had returned my test along with a bouquet of helium balloons to congratulate me on my success. How utterly sad and pathetic am I....

Tomorrow, I should be getting an in-class essay back in one of my Linguistics classes. Since handing it in last Monday, I've been living in a shroud of self-doubt, thinking and rethinking that essay, and finally realizing that I had repeatedly made an error that everybody else in class would never ever have made. And of course, that just made me kick myself even more.

That's it.... I'm orchestrating an intervention. I resolve to stop talking about school in my next five posts.

Here's a photo from this evening, this glorious golden evening, during a leisurely stroll around the lake.

And here are a couple from last weekend, at the beach by the sailing club. See, I do have a little bit of a life outside of school, although you wouldn't know it from talking to me.

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