Friday, April 23, 2010

Almost done

This has been a tough term at school. On top of a full-load of classes (five courses), I had my research project to start, plus being a research assistant and helping out with a few studies. This has been a term when I waffled between caring too much and too little, when I was on top of the world one moment, and melting down into a self-pitying puddle the next.

The school-work itself hasn't been too overwhelming. In fact, the courses have been more practical than last term's. However, just being here, sitting in the same classroom day after day, has felt like a menial office job where nothing changes. I tried to envision the end, when my classmates and I would be released from academia to take on our lives' passion, but on most days, I had trouble seeing it in my mind's eye. On most days, I found myself beaten down by the time the afternoon rolled around, and struggled to stay interested in my classes. Luckily, the professors I had this term had mostly been brilliant, humourous, lovely people, but that just somehow made me feel worse, as though my fatigue proved my unworthiness.

I'm once again in the computer lab at the university, as per my final exam studying ritual. I need the few hours before my exams to compose myself. Just being here prepares my mind, even if I sit here browsing the internet instead of cramming more information into my little brain. This afternoon, I will write my last final this term. I have a take-home paper to whip up this weekend, and then I'll be done. I'll have almost two weeks of relaxation until starting up again in May.

I plan on updating this blog regularly over these couple of weeks. I have much to write about that is unrelated to school.


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