Wishes

Litlove created a meme, and I couldn't resist:

What part of the past would you bring back if you possibly could?
The past that was actually lived is invariably different from the one remembered; however, I would definitely bring back my high school days in a heartbeat. I would love to relive those five years of self-discovery, when I felt secure in my own dreams and abilities, when being a writer was a visceral knowledge and not merely a far-off fantasy. Those were the days when I wrote maniacally, when I shared my stories. I now love the naivete, the innocence in those words. Those were the days when I believed.

What character trait would you alter if you could?
I would alter my insecurities. Although I know that I'm a good person, with nary a malicious bone in my body, I would like to value myself more, be more generous to myself.

Which skill would you like to have the time and money to really work on?
I would absolutely love to dust off my vagabond shoes and travel the world; however, my deepest desire would be to live by the sea and wake up every morning and write, write, and write. I want to breathe in the salt in the air and feel it flow through my veins and get my creative juices going.

Are you money poor, love poor, time poor, or freedom poor?
I'm blessed. I'm not money poor: I shock myself constantly with my online purchasing rampages. I feel over-privileged, and hope one day soon to feel completely deserving of all that I have. I'm not love poor: I love the people around me who have become the family I've chosen for myself in this home. I have people who are so protective of me, who would jump over hurdles to put a smile on my face. I'm not time poor: I just need the mindset to pursue the things I love to do. I just need to believe that I can do them – that I can play music and compose, that I can write, even if it's only for myself. I'm not freedom poor: I'm young and could literally move anywhere, try anything. The only thing holding me back is my insecurities.

What element of your partner's character would you alter if you could?
I honestly don't believe in altering people. I love those close to my heart despite their flaws. I guess the only thing I would alter is the same as what I would wish for myself: I wish he could value himself more, and love himself completely.

What three things are you going to do the next year that you've been meaning to do for ages but never got around to?
Without sounding like a broken record, I would love to write, write, and write. Since that doesn't really count as three things, the other two would be to finish the French course I started a year and a half ago, and to start composing music again.

If your fairy godmother gave you three wishes, what would you wish for?
I would wish for all my students to feel loved. I would wish for a place that feels like home. I would wish to know that I'll always have the people who are important to me now.

What one thing would you change about your living conditions?
I would make my house warmer. I would also have houseplants, surround myself with lush greenery. If only my cat could keep away. If I could change the town, I would make the winters shorter, the days clearer, the summers bug-free. I know, that's more than one thing, but hey, I never ask much of the world usually, so I'm entitled at least to my fantasies.

How could the quality of your free time be improved?
I would think less, do more. Enough said.

What change have you made in your life recently that you're most proud of?
I'm proud that I have found the ability to say “no.” I know my own limits, and try to take care of my own feelings, although I still have not stopped feeling bad about it sometimes.