Magical void

It's been a while since my last post. I've been busy just being and living. That also means being irrational, depressed, elated, emotional, ecstatic, numb – the whole spectrum. My boyfriend has left after his visit up here, and I'm still trying to tell myself that I'll be all right. I've been beating myself up for all those times during the past six weeks when we just sat around, each of us on our own computer or in front of the television. Albeit a comfortable silence, I wish we had stared into each other's eyes more, laughed more, talked more.

Wonderful moments of late:

• taking pictures of the northern lights, and of the “slow-motion” way that snowflakes drift under the street-lamps in the wee hours of the morning

• watching the moon rise opposite a brilliant red sunset over the river
  

• the cathartic properties of a movie that just draws me in whole-heartedly
  

• the bite of the wind against rosy cheeks
  

I'm missing the sun, but there's a comfort about being cradled by the darkness. There's a haunting, mystical magic in the glitter of ice-crystals on the ground. As much as the darkness brings out a deep silence within me, it also makes me want to sing. I've been humming Christmas carols in my head. That always makes me feel better; even if I feel an emptiness, I feel as though I'm part of the infinite, magical void that is the universe.

I'll post a photo of the northern lights soon too.