Monday, January 12, 2009

So much hinges on...

So much hinges on something out of my control.

It has been a strange week and a half, since coming back from my winter holidays. Things are happening in slow motion. I have much time to sit and think, when the months prior to that had all been go go go, with nary a second where I hadn't had some task that required attending to.

It's been a peaceful, serene time. However, underneath the apparent calm, a restlessness stirs.

This afternoon, I sent off the last of the documents to the two grad schools. However, I still need to check that the supporting documents sent in by others make it there on time. Therein lies my problem -- Dr. S is now in Brazil, and was supposed to have mailed in reference letters for me prior to leaving, but he has not. The schools have yet to receive them, and I have no way of contacting Dr. S right now. E-mail as a method of communication had never worked with Dr. S even while he was in town, and is not likely to start working now that he's in South America.

So much hinges on something out of my control. A piece of my future lies in Dr. S's hands, in his words, actions, or inactions.

Dr. D thinks that I'll get into my school of choice. He said so today. I went to see him in his office, and his dog was sitting there, staring up at me with her beautiful eyes. So Dr. D has a dog, a gorgeous white husky mix. Somehow, his dog being there lent him more credibility, more than his role as a knowledgeable professor, if that makes any sense. Anyone whose dog holds him with such trusting, loving eyes must have deeper intuitive powers than the ordinary person.

So much hinges on something out of my control. So much, but since I can only do what I can, I'll simply wait. And I'll hold the image of the quiet dog in the middle of the cluttered office in my mind. That dog knows something I don't.

1 comment:

  1. Dogs do know something we don't! Good luck with the applications. From my observations, you worry unnecessarily most of the time. I hope it's no different this time around.