Thursday, June 28, 2007


If disappointment were a colour, what would it be? It would be a brown-grey. It's like taking multiple colours of playdough and trying to create a marbled effect by rolling them all together. For a while, it all looks promising, but then it turns into a brown mess that just needs to be thrown away.

It has been one of those “blah” weeks for me. It's the last week of work before the summer. This year, I've become increasingly disillusioned. There have been so many bright plans, so many maybes, so many visions, most of which have failed to materialize when push came to shove. Maybe if I stop making plans, I'll stop being disappointed when they don't work out. I really should know better. Experience should have taught me to stop feeling crushed, but somehow, each disappointment seems to outdo the last. I keep telling myself, surely ONE of these days, ONE of these things would work out?! But, that's not the way the world works. Optimism is overrated. At least, it feels overrated today, in this moment, when I'm feeling the sting of the most recent disappointment.

Tomorrow will be the last day before summer holidays. But, I feel orphaned, abandoned, and submerged under my own negativity. Where's that last “hooray”?

I just need to sleep it off. I think I'll be better two days from now....


  1. Uh-oh, what's wrong? Use your calling card and call me! Just don't lie around and be sad all by yourself!

  2. I'm just being self-indulgent. You know how some days, you just find an excuse to snap at every little thing? Well, it was just one of those days. And it's the end of the school year, with the goodbyes that must be said. I don't cope well during this time of the year....

  3. Keep busy, girl! Go to the library every day and get absorbed in books. Go jogging like we used to (or at least like we tried to!). Optimism is not overrated. Come on! Don't make me give you one of my shpiels!