It's in the air

Came back from Edmonton over the weekend, after a lacklustre teachers' conference. The sheer amount of people jammed into little rooms made me want to gag. In fact, I had spent much of the second morning of the conference clutching my stomach and searching for a plain bagel to chew on after being turned away at the door at a session that I had arrived twenty minutes early for.

Bitterness and dashed expectations aside, it was nice to be in a city once more. I had the opportunity to watch two movies, hit West Edmonton Mall three times, go bowling, and try out the GPS in the rental vehicle. Also had the most incredible gumbo at a restaurant that leaves all the ones up here (yes, all two!) in the dust.

Changes are in the air…. Looks as though this might be my last winter up here. After a year of ups and downs (mostly downs), I’ve begun to search for other options. I still love my job, and love the time that I spend with my students. I still like aspects of the town – but as the years pass, the wide-eyed wonder within me has been replaced by ambivalence. I know Inuvik too well now, enough to see both the beauty and the problems, enough to take it all in and want to leave, yet yearning to stay behind at the same time.

Inuvik is just a small piece of the world, and although it has been my small piece of the world these past five years, I still cannot truly call it mine, and perhaps never will. I’ll be leaving behind financial security, the wilderness that has made me gasp in awe, and close friends who have been the family I’ve chosen for myself in every way. I will be taking on the unknown, the quest for purpose, the frightening infinity of possibilities.

Wish me luck as I begin my countdown.